I have broad experience of working online with multicultural couples in particular (straight and LGBTQ+), and I find this the most fulfilling part of my job. I began working with couples at Hestia Barcelona, a clinic grounded in the systemic school. The systemic approach reminds us to have a global awareness of how the individual is formed by patterns of behaviour within their family and social context. In a couple this is invaluable, as so often a couple in crisis consists of two individuals who struggle to see the other's perspective and to understand why they are the way they are and why they struggle to be any other way. So, part of how I work is to help the couple unpack and gain understanding of their own childhood programming in each other's presence, and this in turn allows them to see the behaviours that trigger conflict and misunderstanding. Gaining awareness is the first step in a process of mutual change, one in which I assist you to develop new behavioural patterns as a couple.
My job is to support you both equally and, in so doing, to help you hear the other and enable you to be heard with openness and non-judgment. This can be a profoundly moving process, but it takes utter commitment from both parties. Within the first session I will seek to gain a sense of whether both of you are open to this. I recommend we agree on a commitment to six sessions after that first session. Two of those sessions may be individual sessions for each of you if I feel it would be advantageous for you to have a chance to express yourselves in the absence of the other. If, along the way, we discover that there is a lack of belief or commitment from either party, I may suggest that couples counselling is not for you.
Communication: a major part of my work is helping you to listen to each other, and to communicate your needs and wants in a peaceful and open manner. There may be issues such as anger management, and we will seek to understand the triggers of anger and techniques you can use to diffuse the emotion.
Sex: There is so often an element of shame and awkwardness in talking about sexual intimacy. In fact, the mind and body are one and where there is a problem with verbal communication, this inevitably affects our ability to be intimate. Developing new behavioural and communication patterns can have a profound affect on our sex lives.
I have limited availability, though please do get in touch. I strive to answer all queries within 24 hours. I do ask that the initial one-hour assessment session is paid for at the full rate of 90 euros. Based on this, we can decide whether we are a good fit.